independence a la William

I do believe that we have a perfectly stubborn, wonderfully independent little man growing up under our roof :) William fears no depth - whether over the edge of a couch or down a step or 2 into the playground. He navigates flawlessly over/around/through any obstacle and is slowed down by nothing save that old pre-nap exhaustion.

An example - At the park a couple of weeks ago, W abandoned our normal post on the blanket with Stephanie and Connor and took off across the park on his own! He crawled away from us towards the trees, paused, sat, pondered, then continued on his way to the playground where he crawled down two concrete steps into the mulch. After a short path to the slide, he had had enough and turned around to head back to the blanket. I was in total shock! This adventurous outdoor extravaganza from the same lil guy who freaked out at 6 months when I sat him in the grass for the first time. The rate at which babies change is astounding.

Daddy dear

So, as if I'm not obvious enough about the love I have for the first man in my life :) I was reminded of it tenfold today. My Dad spent the morning having a (long overdue and much needed) double knee replacement. Yes that's right - 2. at. once. *faint* Mom spent the morning alternating between sitting in a crowded waiting room and walking the halls of Presby. I spent the morning requesting extra hugs from W and wishing M was home to get my mind off the fact that somebody was cutting into my Daddy. It's a very helpless feeling that I wouldn't wish on anyone!

After 3 hours of surgery and 5+ hours in recovery, Dad was moved to ICU as an 'in between' place/observation area before moving to a regular room (hopefully tomorrow!). We finally got to see him today at 4ish and he looked amazingly well! The pictures I had in my head were way scarier, but it's still very unnerving to see a parent in a hospital bed. The doctor and nurses assure us he is doing great, but I'm still a little edgy...bleh. I will likely call a million times to check on him tonight!

Any prayers/positive vibes/happy thoughts sent his way would be greatly appreciated by all of us :) We miss our play dates and normal routine, but the fam is on deck and on call for the next couple of weeks. Looking forward to Daddy coming home!

Thank you universe :)

Hello insomnia, my old friend...

get your sleep depriving, panic attack inducing, sweet dream ruining self OUT of my life! Months and months of hopes, prayers, meds, cognitive behavior exercises, and out and out begging/pleading and you will not leave me be. What gives??? W will be up in a few hours and I will be a zombie. Again.

M has been out of town for a week now - away in Florida on a job with (get this) no return flight scheduled. Tonight, he found out it will be at least another week in FL to finish everything there and then it's off to Virginia for a 2+ week robot install. He may or may not be able to come home in between trips. I may or may not check myself into the loony bin. May or may not pull my hair out. May or may not deplete the planet's Xanax supply in an attempt to wind down for ten minutes. I feel like an exposed nerve ending just hanging out in a hailstorm.

There aren't words to describe how grateful I am to this amazing man who works so ridiculously hard at what he does to take care of our little family. He may never fully understand my appreciation, but it is always there - sent out to wherever he may be via little cosmic love waves through the void. I hope my aim is accurate. I hope he knows how deeply we love him and miss him.

I shouldn't (and I try not to curse the darkness), but I get so jealous of the families who have Daddies that come home at the same time every evening...who have dinner together...who have established night and weekend family routines. We may never have that, but lately it's all I can think about. Apparently, the robotics field is not a family-friendly one. At all. I constantly fight the urge to call up old boss man at 6pm, interrupt his family time, and rip him a new one - somehow make him realize that the men who build/program/install/repair his robots, work 16 hour days, travel for weeks on end at his request/sacrifice time with their loved ones to get the job done are NOT robots themselves!

I miss my husband. I'm desperate for that feeling of "family".I'm tired of days and nights and events and meals and milestones without him. I feel defeated tonight. Today. 3am.

Back in black!

My shiny new laptop charger arrived today! I did a happy dance right there at the mailbox. W screamed. I'm an awesome dancer.

In recent news/updates, M and I are the proud parents of an almost 10 month old lil man who:

*pulls up on everything - from tables to toys to my legs
*stands up in his crib - this totally creeps me out to see him standing there when I go in to get him...wayyyy too kid-like
*dances - like a happy little maniac (to the tune of "La Cucaracha", no less)
*hugs - this absolutely melts me
*pushes things away when he isn't happy - this gets super tricky during diaper changes haha
*eats like a horse - purees, cannned/steamed veggies, little bits of meat, yogurt, crackers, cereal, oatmeal
*crawled across Haggard Park from the trees to the playground before stopping and turning back around
*speaks his own language - he has sooo much to say!
*amazes me - this will never end

boooo breaky poo

Taking a bit of a break from the blog (sad face) until my new computer charger arrives (happy face) sometime this week. Currently using hubby's work laptop (rare opportunity - I break any important electronics with my amazing magnetic energy).

I miss stalking and being stalked by all of you. Love from the Loggins!